7 & 8 months!

Oh goodness. Raising a baby, going to school, and working several jobs has caught up to me! I have neglected this poor blog. I had previously drafted a 7 month post but never completed it. I blame Ms. Clara's mobility and ability to get into everything if I take my eyes off of her!

So let's update on what's been going on these past two months.

Dearest Clara,

Wow, today you are 8 months old. I still feel like I just held you for the first time. Yet, those days of being utterly exhausted and so unsure of what to do seem like a distant memory. Don't get me wrong, I'm still always tired and I'm not sure I'll ever know exactly what to do as a mom, but suddenly I feel much more seasoned. 

These past few months have big! First of all...
You are mobile! Scary. You started to creep around just before your 7 month birthday, but by the end of August you were on the move. And now you are a crawling fool! You are quickly gaining speed. And your newest trick is standing. You can almost get all the way up on your own. And if we stand you up you stand there a long time. All this mobility means that you have been getting into everything. I cannot take my eyes off of you for long. And you are feisty because if you get into something I don't want you to have and take it away from you you are not shy and letting me know you are not happy! You pout that lip and cry and big ugly cry. You know what you want and when you want it.

Eating: You still are on mama's milk and I would say that's your favorite. You are not a fan of bottles though. For a while you flat out refused them. Which was worrisome because mama cannot be with you 24/7. Between my grad classes, subbing and other ventures you still occasionally need to be fed by someone else. You did take a bottle for grandma and dad though, so that's good. 

You have been trying lots of foods--including chunks of steamed foods! In the past two weeks you haven't been into purees or being spoon fed. You enjoy bigger pieces that you can feed yourself. You love your puffs (the Happy Puffs--you've tried Sweet Potato, Apple, Greens, and Purple Carrot and Blueberry and love them all), yogurt bites, Happy Crunchies (cheddar and carrot). You've also eaten chunks of apples, pears, nectarines, asparagus, and chicken. We are going to try cauliflower soon too. 

You went through a phase where you wouldn't eat too many solids. You've been teething and under the weather so that's probably why.

Sleeping: Oh sleep. How I miss you. In all seriousness it hasn't been that bad. Though we have had rough nights. Your daddy brought home a nasty cold that we have all had. You seem to have had it the longest though :( Not being able to breathe well out your noise definitely affecting your eating and sleeping. We had one night that you slept for a half hour, woke up screaming, I had to rock you to sleep (which you have never before liked), and then you finally passed out on me (which again, never happens). It was sad. But I can't lie, I enjoyed the snuggles. You rarely snuggle and sleep on me anymore! 

Aside from sickness you usually wake up 1-2 times overnight. You go to bed between 7:30-8:30. The first waking is usually between 12:30-2 and I try not to feed you this time. But daddy is much better at soothing you back to sleep, when it's just me sometimes I give in. Or let you cry a little (which I hate). And then once around 3:30-5:30. I usually feed you once you get up that time. And then you are typically up for the day between 7:30-8. It's not too bad. It could be much, much worse. But boy do I miss a full night of uninterrupted sleep. But I know these days are fleeting. Trying not to complain too much. 

Stats: You don't go to the doctor until next month. But I would say that you're around  23 lbs. You are heavy! But I don't think you'll gain much in the next few months because you are SO active. You're still fairly tall. You pretty much wear 12-18 months clothes. Some of your 12 month stuff is snug though! You are certainly a big, healthy girl. But that's ok. I just hope you fit into your Halloween costume next month! Your feet seem to finally be getting a lil bigger. You fit into a size 3 Carter's shoe the other day.

Things you like: You love your Rusty dog. You stare at him all the time and chase him around. You like his toys too! He tolerates you. He doesn't love the fact that you grab him hard (he's much littler than you!) but he loves when you drop puffs for him! You also love music and songs. Bath time with daddy is another favorite. You love splashing in the water. Recently you seem obsessed with the satellite box and X-Box. So much that we have to keep you away from them! You also like your Fisher Price singing dog and the little Fisher Price walker we got at a garage sale. But simple items like Tupperware, boxes, and paper to crunch seem to keep your attention the longest!

You went to the "Running of the Weiners" at the Cincinnati Oktoberfest, which you seemed to like! We got to see cute weenies race and everyone adored your dachshund outfit. I think you're gonna be a Doxie lover like your mama :) 

These past two months you have just been developing leaps and bounds. You love to "talk" (which is really usually a shriek!), you love to watch and observe. Most of all you love to be on the move :) You are as your daddy says a "fireball". But you are happy and healthy (despite this stupid cold) and I couldn't be happier to be your mama! Happy 8 months my love.

Love you to the moon and back, 
Mama 

Sickness stinks.

My dear sweet Clara,

As I write you are slumbering soundly. You've been doing a lot of slumbering today. I noticed you seemed sleepier and  fussier than usual today. I also noticed when I kissed your little head this morning that you felt slightly warm.

Fast forward to this evening when you refused your solids and seemed to want to be held all through our dinner trip out. My suspicions were confirmed when I found your temperature to be 101.4! :( I hate seeing you sick. I wish I could take your pain and discomfort away. The doctor on call and Aunt Annie (your lucky to have an aunt who's a peditrican!) have confirmed that you should be fine, probably a virus, possibly teething (or both!) but I hate it none the less.

I know this is boosting your immune system but I can't help but to still feel sad and a little helpless to help you! You've been SO healthy. Other than a teeny tiny cold when you were a newborn (sans fever) and the typical immune ramp up after your shots, you haven't been sick! Hopefully breastfeeding, snuggles and rest will help you be back to normal in no time.

I know that you'll be sick a thousand times more in your life and I should be thankful that you've been so healthy so far but I can't help but to be bummed. Part of being a mommy is having a literal piece of you walking (or in your case scooting and rolling) around outside of yourself. That's quite a quandary. It's wonderful yet sometimes you feel vulnerable for two. I love our bond though. I love that I could tell something was amiss with you by "mothers instinct" alone. I love being your mom. I hate sickness.

And maybe it's just paranoia but my throat feels a bit scratchy and my nose a lil stuffy currently. Hopefully I stay well enough to take care of you and nurse you back to health! Especially since daddy's at work all day tomorrow. 

Praying you feel better ASAP! Trusting that you will. 

Love you, get well soon,

Mom

Sleepy sick girl during one of her naps today. So precious when you sleep and cuddle your security blanket.

Brave

Dearest Clara,

I've thought a great deal about what I want to teach you. I may not be classified as old and wise yet, but I feel that I do have some wisdom to impart to you. Of course I want to teach you to be a woman of faith, a lover, a giver and a caring friend. But, I also want to teach you to have some qualities I've never been the best at embodying.

One of those qualities would be gracefulness. Your mama is admittedly a klutz. At any given time I am covered in bruises and scrapes. It's not shameful to be a klutz, but I don't want you falling and hurting yourself all the time. I'd love for you to try ballet. Maybe you'll learn to love it and become a little ballerina. After all, your name is Clara, which is the lead character in The Nutcracker; it would only be fitting. And if you were a ballerina you may learn to flit around with an airiness and grace that I have never possessed. But, if you're a klutz like me I won't hold it against you; I know you get it honestly!

Another quality would be athleticism. Mama loves a nice long walk, yoga and even a little bit of cardio but I am not athlete. Klutziness gets in the way of any athletic prowess I may have possessed. I have always had a fear of being annihilated by a ball or puck or anything sharp or hard. Your daddy however, is very strong and athletic. He likes running, lifting, and of course his paintball. Maybe you'll inherit his skills.

But most of all my dear sweet, innocent daughter, I want you to be brave. I want you to hold on to your fearlessness for as long as possible. I want you to hold your sense of wonder and let nothing hold you back from trying new, exciting adventures. Do not be timid, do not be shy. Be brave. Embrace the unknown, embrace everything that is new and unfamiliar. It's an old corny adage but no one ever looks back on life and says they're grateful for sitting on the sidelines.

Of course there's benefits to being a spectator. As a curious baby you take everything in at all times. You are observing, watching, learning. Continue to learn, but don't be stagnant. Take action. Try something new everyday. Don't ever let fear get in your way. Fear is for the weak, and you, my dear daughter are strong. 

I've let fear get in my way too many times. I've missed out on too many opportunities because of fear of the unknown and fear of failing. Here's one truth that you need to know. Trying and failing is okay. Never trying is not okay. How will you ever learn? How will you ever discover your greatness? I never tried  a variety of activities or adventures because the fear I'd be "bad" at it or I'd "obviously" fail. But I will never know, because I never tried. 

I will tell you the times that I which I was brave are the times I am the most proud of. At 15 I had major back surgery. 8 hours of surgery, had to have a chest tube, and now have a titanium rod and six screws in my spine. As a scrawny, scrappy little 15 year old it was terrifying. I couldn't even talk about it leading up to the surgery because I was so terrified. There was so much unknown, something could go wrong, I could be paralyzed, never walk again. But I had no choice but to be brave. And I was. I made it through, with flying colors. I learned I was so much stronger than I thought. So much braver than I could have ever imagined. And I was proud of myself in a way that I didn't even know was possible. I had overcome a fear, and I made it out on the other side. That feeling is unbeatable. I want you to have that feeling, and often. I want you to be proud of yourself. I know I'll be proud of you, I already am.

Another example of my braveness came from you. I gave birth to you without a single drug in my body. I didn't even have an IV! I labored for hours, pushed for almost 3 (Yikes!). There were times I was so exhausted I fell asleep on my hospital bed. But I dug deep. I kept thinking of you. I wanted you to be born in the most natural, beautiful way. The way that you were intended to come into this world. I knew it would help us with recovery, with breastfeeding, with bonding. So I labored on (literally) and I spoke to you. Asked you to be strong for me. Help me to be brave--and for you to safely make your way into this world. And when your daddy helped to deliver you (because he's a paramedic, he can do that!) and I held you and stared at your perfect little pout for the first time I was beyond happy. I was elated. I was brave. Daddy brags about this all the time. He tells me all the time how strong I was. To tell you the truth I had never felt more weak and vulnerable. But I was strong and steadfast. And I had the most wonderful gift for my bravery.

There has been several times where I haven't been brave. Where I've held my tongue as someone degrades my self worth, where I have chickened out from any exciting adventure (whether it be a roller coaster, a zip line, or a trip), where I've let the fear of the unknown paralyze my sense of adventure. Don't do this. You will be scared at times. You will be uncertain. But don't walk away. Be brave. Let yourself be open to the unknown. Let it take a hold of you, change you, shape you into something strong and mighty. You may be small right now but you are certainly mighty. You are amazing, and don't you ever forget it. It will be my duty to remind you of it everyday.

After all, you're the daughter of a firefighter, one of the bravest professions out there. You have bravery in you already, you just have to unleash it. You are already feisty and determined. I hope you never lose that. Even if it makes my life more difficult. I don't want you sitting on the sidelines. I want you in the game. And I'll be there cheering you on every step of the way.

Love, 
Mom

6 months! Happy 1/2 Birthday Clara Jane :)

Clara Jane,

I can't believe this is even possible, but you are 6 months old today! Holy half a year. Time has flown by. In those first few weeks of being up all night I thought we would never get here, but alas, it's your half birthday :) I am a lover of birthdays so I think today is a reason to celebrate. Though every day of being alive and well is a reason to thank God and celebrate.

Ok, let's talk about what's new with you this month sweet thing!

Eating: You started solid foods! woo-hoo :) Mama's milk is still your fave and breastfeeding is still going great but we've introduced you to some new things here lately. Starting in your 5th month we gave you teeny little bits of avocado and sweet potato, but about two weeks ago we jumped in and started with solids. Your first puree was peaches which you seemed to dig. Next puree was sweet potato which you did ok with. So far you have had peaches, pears, sweet potatoes, bananas and avocado. You haven't disliked any of them but I would say that peaches are your favorite! I've primarily been making my own foods but you did try some of those organic pouches. 

Sleeping: Your sleep is unpredictable. I am happy that I'm not working right now because I would be a zombie. You have nights that you sleep great (like two nights ago!) and nights that it takes us hours to get you to go down (like last night when we had to take a drive around the neighborhood at 11pm!) and nights when you wake up what seems like a million times because you roll onto your tummy and then get mad when you wake up that way! But, we've made huge progress with sleep. You are now sleeping unswaddled, in your crib all night! No more swing or swaddle for our big girl. I am optimistic that your sleep is slowly getting better. You started napping a little more regularly (as I blogged about the other day!) and now that you can roll into different positions it seems that you may have started to learn to self-soothe a little. I just am trying to be patient. That can be really hard in the middle of the night when you've been up about 10 times though! Everyone says I will miss these days soon enough though.

Developments: This month has been full of developments! I am amazed by you. You can now sit up unassisted for long periods of time, you can roll from back to belly (and do so often!), you can get up on all fours (this is new and you can only hold it a few seconds but still!) and when we hold your arms or legs you can stand for long periods of time. You are making tons of new noises, you squeal, giggle, laugh and just have fun all the time now. I think that all these new developments may be part of the reason your sleep has been out of whack. But I am so, so proud of you and all your milestones. You seem to be right on target. I think you're going to be a smart, chatty, happy little girl.

All in all this has been another amazing month of being your mama. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us. I love you to the moon and back!

Nap time!

Miss Clara is currently in the middle of a nap. A nap! In her crib. In the middle of the afternoon. This never happens. She has been sleeping poorly (due to rolling over on her belly and getting stuck) but I guess I'll take the small changes. I am one happy mama right now.

Currently

Listening to: Nothing at the moment. But Clara loves Darius Rucker's song Wagon Wheel so we listen to that quite a bit. I also love Carrie Underwood's I Will See You Again...makes me think about my grandpa, who Clara reminds me so much of. She has his facial expressions and his ornery spicy ways. Love it. Also just heard the winner of The Voice Danielle Bradbery's new song Heart of Dixie which I'm really digging. Clara is going to be a country music fan like her mama, because that's most of what we listen to! 

Creating: Well nothing has come to fruition as of yet,but I am feeling very creative these days. As an English major it has always been my goal to write. I always thought it would be a novel but recently I have a children's book idea in mind. I blame having an almost 6 month old for the switch! ha. Also, I really want to get into crafting! I am admittedly not the most patient person and not the most neat, so crafts can be hard for me. But I am creative and imaginative which helps. I want to get a second hand sewing machine and learn how to sew. I would love to make Clara headbands and other cute things :)

Reading: I have read a bunch of samples on my Kindle recently. I really want to read Eleanor and Park. My aunt has it and says she'll let me borrow it when she's done. I started reading it but held off buying it because I can get if for free! Also, wanting to read the latest Jennifer Echols novel. I really do love me so young adult fiction. 

I also got a library card recently so I got a bunch of baby related books. We're going to jump into solids with Clara soon so I thought I'd get some books about baby food. Thinking of making some recipes tonight!

Amazed by: How big my baby girl is. Not just in size, (she is quite the chunker, and can already wear some 18 months clothes in certain brands!) but in her abilities. She "talks" all the time now, can sit up like a pro, rolls more often (though she still isn't so impressed with the whole rolling thing, think she'd rather get up and walk if she could), is making strides towards crawling, doing her "mini push up" all the time, and is trying little bits of new food. She's amazing. I just feel like it's going so fast. I swear she was just born and now she's almost a half a year old. Really realizing how much I need to soak it all in.

Big girl smiles in the jumperoo! 

4th of July photo blast

Outfit #1 on July 3rd

Another shot

Outfit #2 July 4th 

Love her rolls!

Outfit #3 courtesy of Aunt Annie!

And a lil photo app fun! Tried to make fireworks--but they kinda look like they're coming outta Rusty's booty! Haha 

The yummy (and beautiful!) dessert we made 

Auntie Melissa and Auntie Sharece came to visit! 

And the whole fam!