Happy 2014 and a long overdue update

So, I have definitely fallen way behind on updating this blog! Guess that's what happens when you're a mom of an almost 1 year old! But, it's a new year and one of my goals is to blog more and to record more updates on Miss Clara's life (as well as my own life!) 

First of all, Miss Clara Jane is 11 months old! Crazy! Less than a month until my baby is 1. Cue lots of tears. It seriously has flown by. Especially these last few months. In the beginning you think you'll never make it to a year, then by about 6 months you're pleading with time to slow down.

So what's new with Clara?

Eating: Still nursing, so happy to have made it 11 months! Not only have we saved a fortune not having to buy formula, but hopefully she will have the lasting health benefits of being breastfed. I know it's not easy for some moms and some moms aren't able to, so I feel so very blessed.

Clara is also eating everything else under the sun! She LOVES pickles, that has become very apparent. She also likes foods that are brightly colored, like orange. If you put carrots, sweet potatoes, orange/red peppers, etc. in front of her she will gobble them up. Seriously, this child has a healthy appetite. 

We've also been incorporating her sippy cup more in the hopes to make her transition to weaning easier. I don't plan on fully weaning until closer to 18 months but she will be starting on almond milk/coconut milk and organic whole milk after her 1st birthday.

Sleeping: Ugh, I don't even know what to say about sleep. Sometimes it's great. We were in a good pattern of going to bed between 7:30-8 and not waking until 4-5am and then sleeping until 8-9am. But then we traveled for Christmas, and there was teething (yet still ZERO teeth) and everything was thrown for a loop. Last night was pretty good, but recently you seem to want to wake around 3am and will not go down without nursing. I really hope to break this pattern soon. But I know that this too shall pass. On a positive note, girl likes to sleep in! Sometimes I have to wake sleepy girl up around 10am--but usually she's been up 2-3 times in the wee hours of the morning to nurse and then passes back out. My hope is that by 1 year we may be closer to a 7:30p-7:30am schedule, but I'm not holding my breath!

Size: We haven't been to the doctor in a while but Daddy's put baby chunk on our scale and it seems she holding steady around 24 lbs. Everyone said that my chunky girl would slow down and she really has. Since she's been more and more active (crawling, cruising, scooting, using the walker, etc) she really hasn't gained much weight at all. She does however seem to be taller, but since we haven't been to the doc I don't know what her exact height is.

Milestones/Notable events: Chatting up a storm! Saying "dada",  on a rare occasion we will get "mama" but usually when I ask her to say it I just get "dadadada", sigh. I'm holding out hope she'll get "mama" on command down by a year. Her other favorite word is "dog" but she pronounces it more like "doug". She says it at Rusty (whom she loves) but also at everything else, including the Christmas tree! 

As far as mobility she is still not walking on her own yet, but is cruising furniture, using the walker and will stand without holding on for a few seconds at a time. I think she could free stand but she seems a little nervous. Everyone tells me not to be in a hurry, that once she walks nothing will ever be safe, so I'm trying to be patient, but I would love to see her take off :)

She celebrated her first Thanksgiving and Christmas, and loved them both. It was great to see family and friends. Clara gobbled up her turkey, she flirted with all my aunts, uncles, and cousins and she had a blast in general.

Over the Christmas season we went to go look at lights, met Santa (whom she was NOT a fan of, the mere sight of him brought screaming and tears), put ornaments on the Christmas Countdown wall hanging, and opened her first stocking and gifts.

Christmas really was ten times more magical this year--and I know it will just continue to be better and better as she grows up and discovers all that the holiday has to offer. 

The end of the year brought some sadness as we said goodbye to my grandma, Clara's great-grandma and middle name sake, Eleanor Jane. I am happy that her body and mind are finally at peace but it truly seems that it is an end of an era. I'm happy she got to meet and hold Clara, but sadly she won't remember her. I plan to tell her lots of stories about growing up with Grandma and Grandpa Singer, as she won't get the pleasure of experiencing it first hand. I only have one grandparent left, so  I want to make sure that Clara really understands and treasures her own grandparents and her great-grandma. 

Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2014 is great. I know that 2013 has been a year of ups and downs, but it has also been the best year ever because we welcomed our beautiful girl into the world and I couldn't imagine this (crazy) year without her.


May 2014 be full of health, happiness, love and learning :)

9 months!

Clara Jane,

I seriously cannot wrap my mind around the fact that you are 9 months old! That's 3/4 of a year.  I say this every month but weren't you just my tiny newborn baby blob? But I must say, as much as I do miss your newborn snuggles I actually love watching you grow and become more and more interactive with the world around me. Sometimes I just stop and simply observe you because I can't get over how much you've grown and developed in just 9 short months. So let's talk about what's new with you!

Stats: We just went to the pediatrician today, so I know the particulars this time. You are 24 lbs (above the 95th percentile), 28.5 inches (75th percentile) and your head circumference is 17.5 (50th percentile). You're still my big girl! But actually this is your smallest ever weight gain in between appointments (and this is the longest gap between appointments), you gained less than 2 lbs in 3 months. But considering you were off the charts for weight before you're still pretty big! But the doctor seemed happy to hear that you're hitting all your milestones and trying lots of new foods.

You're now wearing anywhere from 12-24 months in clothes, though most typically 18 months. The sleeves and pant legs are a tiny bit long but I figure you'll get more wear out of these clothes if I buy a little bigger than needed. I have a feeling you'll be in 18 months clothes for a while because you're slowing down a little in growth (and you're bound to thin out as you learn to walk!)

Eating: You still love mama's milk and nurse anywhere from 4-6 times a day. But you now eat just about anything and like to feed yourself. You eat lots of black beans, cheese, pasta, broccoli, peppers, chicken, pork and steak. Basically whatever mom and dad eat you get little pieces of. And of course puffs and your organic veggie/cheese curls. You're a pretty big fan of food in general. We tried sprouted flour pancakes the other day and you seemed to be a fan of those as well! I love introducing you to new foods :)

Sleep: Oh sleep, you're a fickle mistress. Someone asked me what I wanted for Christmas the other day and I said "a full night's sleep"! Somedays are fine, you go down between 7-8pm and wake up once between 4-5am for a feeding and then go back down until 7:30-8am. That's just fine with me! But other days you wake up (but only seem somewhat awake) whimpering and thrashing around and need your pacifier to go back down. And then sometimes (like last night) you're inconsolable and need to be nursed to go back down. Last night was the latter. We have figured out that we need to put you into warmer PJs now that it's getting cold. So we've invested in some fleece footed one piece sleepers and that seemed to help. But the doctor confirmed today that you're trying to pop 4 teeth so that explains why sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night really uncomfortable :( I hope sleep improves/becomes more consistent because I'm tired (and hate seeing you unhappy at night) and I miss sleeping through the night!

Development: As I said earlier your development is crazy these days. You now crawl faster than the speed of lightning, can pull yourself to stand, can take small steps when holding on to furniture, and the other day you pulled yourself up on daddy's leg and then stood unassisted! (though daddy said you kind of looked like a drunken sailor, haha!)

You also are getting to be so curious. Whenever I walk away from you, even for a moment, you follow me. You love to pull your toys out of the toy box and pulling everything out of laundry baskets or diaper bags is a favorite activity of yours! Socks never stay on your feet long, you love to pull them off and eat them, silly girl.

You're very chatty. You now say "dada" on a regular basis an "nanana" which may be a form of ,ama, though you do occasionally actually say "mama" (sadly "dada" is much more common). You also say a word that sounds like "dowg" which we think is your version of dog or doggie. You love that voice of yours and tend to chat to yourself or anyone who will listen! 

You clap all the time now and wave quite frequently as well. Daddy also started teaching you how to shake your head "no" (I told him that's a dangerous skill to teach!).

Favorites: You love, love, love books. Clearly you're the daughter of an English major. Last month I got you a board book with flaps called "Trick or Treat" and you are obsessed. So obsessed that some days you will bat away all other books. You really like flap books. We got you a few more including "Peekaboo Sophie" and "Where is Baby's Pumpkin?" you can lift the flaps yourself and love to do so!

Other things that you enjoy--well your Rusty Red is probably #1. He makes you coo, laugh and smile. When you hear the jingle of his tags you practically jump out of my arms! I love seeing the two of you together. You're learning to be a little more gentle with him so he's tolerating your "pets" a little bit more. He loves you during your meal time because you frequently drop food and sometimes you even intentionally give him your food! 

As for toys you really enjoy the Leap Frog "Ages and Stages" activity bar we bought for $2 at a garage sale! You like the Fisher Price walker as well. But more than anything you like to play with everything you're not supposed to (like Rusty's water bowls, cords, laundry, keys, etc). As I said you are SUPER curious.

TV doesn't really hold your interest long but you will occasionally cuddle with me and watch Peter Rabbit, Bubble Guppies, and Sophia the 1st. 

Overall, I think that you are just about the cutest, sweetest, craziest, most fun baby ever. I love you so, so, much. I am so blessed to be your mama. 

Oh, and I also think you're just about the cutest little mousling ever! I love dressing up my beautiful babe!

Love you to the moon and back,
Mama

Recently

Dearest Clara,

Life has been busy recently. Seems to be the trend. Your daddy has been working lots of overtime and mama's been busy with school work and her many part time jobs. Never rest for parents! Oh well.

I can't believe in less than a week you'll be 9 months old!! Wow. 3/4 of a year, just crazy. I've already started planning your birthday party (just small little things--I have a theme and I ordered you a shirt) and I'm thinking about the holidays and looking forward to you experiencing all of that for the very first time!

It's almost Halloween, a holiday mom and dad both greatly enjoy (though probably your daddy the most--he loves to scare people, ha!) and I can't wait to see you dressed up as a cute little mouse. 

We've gotten to experience lots of fun fall activities with you like taking you to the pumpkin patch and going on walks to see the trees. It's all just flying by though--I really wish we had more time to just stop, slow down and take in the moment.

Currently you are snoozing after much protest. You've kind of been a cranky lady these past couple days. Just when all was well and you were sleeping great teething decided to rear it's ugly head :( Oh well, I knew that there would be more regressions coming. I just hope that next time I update that you will finally have some teeth to show for all this pain!

Life is crazy, but we are blessed. I still sit back and think about how much has changed in the last year. Life is certainly more hectic and I get far less sleep  than I had hoped for--but I wouldn't change it for the world. You are wonderful and the gift of motherhood is certainly a precious one. I try hard to be the best mama I can. 

Love you to the moon and back sweet Clara Jane,
Mama

7 & 8 months!

Oh goodness. Raising a baby, going to school, and working several jobs has caught up to me! I have neglected this poor blog. I had previously drafted a 7 month post but never completed it. I blame Ms. Clara's mobility and ability to get into everything if I take my eyes off of her!

So let's update on what's been going on these past two months.

Dearest Clara,

Wow, today you are 8 months old. I still feel like I just held you for the first time. Yet, those days of being utterly exhausted and so unsure of what to do seem like a distant memory. Don't get me wrong, I'm still always tired and I'm not sure I'll ever know exactly what to do as a mom, but suddenly I feel much more seasoned. 

These past few months have big! First of all...
You are mobile! Scary. You started to creep around just before your 7 month birthday, but by the end of August you were on the move. And now you are a crawling fool! You are quickly gaining speed. And your newest trick is standing. You can almost get all the way up on your own. And if we stand you up you stand there a long time. All this mobility means that you have been getting into everything. I cannot take my eyes off of you for long. And you are feisty because if you get into something I don't want you to have and take it away from you you are not shy and letting me know you are not happy! You pout that lip and cry and big ugly cry. You know what you want and when you want it.

Eating: You still are on mama's milk and I would say that's your favorite. You are not a fan of bottles though. For a while you flat out refused them. Which was worrisome because mama cannot be with you 24/7. Between my grad classes, subbing and other ventures you still occasionally need to be fed by someone else. You did take a bottle for grandma and dad though, so that's good. 

You have been trying lots of foods--including chunks of steamed foods! In the past two weeks you haven't been into purees or being spoon fed. You enjoy bigger pieces that you can feed yourself. You love your puffs (the Happy Puffs--you've tried Sweet Potato, Apple, Greens, and Purple Carrot and Blueberry and love them all), yogurt bites, Happy Crunchies (cheddar and carrot). You've also eaten chunks of apples, pears, nectarines, asparagus, and chicken. We are going to try cauliflower soon too. 

You went through a phase where you wouldn't eat too many solids. You've been teething and under the weather so that's probably why.

Sleeping: Oh sleep. How I miss you. In all seriousness it hasn't been that bad. Though we have had rough nights. Your daddy brought home a nasty cold that we have all had. You seem to have had it the longest though :( Not being able to breathe well out your noise definitely affecting your eating and sleeping. We had one night that you slept for a half hour, woke up screaming, I had to rock you to sleep (which you have never before liked), and then you finally passed out on me (which again, never happens). It was sad. But I can't lie, I enjoyed the snuggles. You rarely snuggle and sleep on me anymore! 

Aside from sickness you usually wake up 1-2 times overnight. You go to bed between 7:30-8:30. The first waking is usually between 12:30-2 and I try not to feed you this time. But daddy is much better at soothing you back to sleep, when it's just me sometimes I give in. Or let you cry a little (which I hate). And then once around 3:30-5:30. I usually feed you once you get up that time. And then you are typically up for the day between 7:30-8. It's not too bad. It could be much, much worse. But boy do I miss a full night of uninterrupted sleep. But I know these days are fleeting. Trying not to complain too much. 

Stats: You don't go to the doctor until next month. But I would say that you're around  23 lbs. You are heavy! But I don't think you'll gain much in the next few months because you are SO active. You're still fairly tall. You pretty much wear 12-18 months clothes. Some of your 12 month stuff is snug though! You are certainly a big, healthy girl. But that's ok. I just hope you fit into your Halloween costume next month! Your feet seem to finally be getting a lil bigger. You fit into a size 3 Carter's shoe the other day.

Things you like: You love your Rusty dog. You stare at him all the time and chase him around. You like his toys too! He tolerates you. He doesn't love the fact that you grab him hard (he's much littler than you!) but he loves when you drop puffs for him! You also love music and songs. Bath time with daddy is another favorite. You love splashing in the water. Recently you seem obsessed with the satellite box and X-Box. So much that we have to keep you away from them! You also like your Fisher Price singing dog and the little Fisher Price walker we got at a garage sale. But simple items like Tupperware, boxes, and paper to crunch seem to keep your attention the longest!

You went to the "Running of the Weiners" at the Cincinnati Oktoberfest, which you seemed to like! We got to see cute weenies race and everyone adored your dachshund outfit. I think you're gonna be a Doxie lover like your mama :) 

These past two months you have just been developing leaps and bounds. You love to "talk" (which is really usually a shriek!), you love to watch and observe. Most of all you love to be on the move :) You are as your daddy says a "fireball". But you are happy and healthy (despite this stupid cold) and I couldn't be happier to be your mama! Happy 8 months my love.

Love you to the moon and back, 
Mama 

Sickness stinks.

My dear sweet Clara,

As I write you are slumbering soundly. You've been doing a lot of slumbering today. I noticed you seemed sleepier and  fussier than usual today. I also noticed when I kissed your little head this morning that you felt slightly warm.

Fast forward to this evening when you refused your solids and seemed to want to be held all through our dinner trip out. My suspicions were confirmed when I found your temperature to be 101.4! :( I hate seeing you sick. I wish I could take your pain and discomfort away. The doctor on call and Aunt Annie (your lucky to have an aunt who's a peditrican!) have confirmed that you should be fine, probably a virus, possibly teething (or both!) but I hate it none the less.

I know this is boosting your immune system but I can't help but to still feel sad and a little helpless to help you! You've been SO healthy. Other than a teeny tiny cold when you were a newborn (sans fever) and the typical immune ramp up after your shots, you haven't been sick! Hopefully breastfeeding, snuggles and rest will help you be back to normal in no time.

I know that you'll be sick a thousand times more in your life and I should be thankful that you've been so healthy so far but I can't help but to be bummed. Part of being a mommy is having a literal piece of you walking (or in your case scooting and rolling) around outside of yourself. That's quite a quandary. It's wonderful yet sometimes you feel vulnerable for two. I love our bond though. I love that I could tell something was amiss with you by "mothers instinct" alone. I love being your mom. I hate sickness.

And maybe it's just paranoia but my throat feels a bit scratchy and my nose a lil stuffy currently. Hopefully I stay well enough to take care of you and nurse you back to health! Especially since daddy's at work all day tomorrow. 

Praying you feel better ASAP! Trusting that you will. 

Love you, get well soon,

Mom

Sleepy sick girl during one of her naps today. So precious when you sleep and cuddle your security blanket.

Brave

Dearest Clara,

I've thought a great deal about what I want to teach you. I may not be classified as old and wise yet, but I feel that I do have some wisdom to impart to you. Of course I want to teach you to be a woman of faith, a lover, a giver and a caring friend. But, I also want to teach you to have some qualities I've never been the best at embodying.

One of those qualities would be gracefulness. Your mama is admittedly a klutz. At any given time I am covered in bruises and scrapes. It's not shameful to be a klutz, but I don't want you falling and hurting yourself all the time. I'd love for you to try ballet. Maybe you'll learn to love it and become a little ballerina. After all, your name is Clara, which is the lead character in The Nutcracker; it would only be fitting. And if you were a ballerina you may learn to flit around with an airiness and grace that I have never possessed. But, if you're a klutz like me I won't hold it against you; I know you get it honestly!

Another quality would be athleticism. Mama loves a nice long walk, yoga and even a little bit of cardio but I am not athlete. Klutziness gets in the way of any athletic prowess I may have possessed. I have always had a fear of being annihilated by a ball or puck or anything sharp or hard. Your daddy however, is very strong and athletic. He likes running, lifting, and of course his paintball. Maybe you'll inherit his skills.

But most of all my dear sweet, innocent daughter, I want you to be brave. I want you to hold on to your fearlessness for as long as possible. I want you to hold your sense of wonder and let nothing hold you back from trying new, exciting adventures. Do not be timid, do not be shy. Be brave. Embrace the unknown, embrace everything that is new and unfamiliar. It's an old corny adage but no one ever looks back on life and says they're grateful for sitting on the sidelines.

Of course there's benefits to being a spectator. As a curious baby you take everything in at all times. You are observing, watching, learning. Continue to learn, but don't be stagnant. Take action. Try something new everyday. Don't ever let fear get in your way. Fear is for the weak, and you, my dear daughter are strong. 

I've let fear get in my way too many times. I've missed out on too many opportunities because of fear of the unknown and fear of failing. Here's one truth that you need to know. Trying and failing is okay. Never trying is not okay. How will you ever learn? How will you ever discover your greatness? I never tried  a variety of activities or adventures because the fear I'd be "bad" at it or I'd "obviously" fail. But I will never know, because I never tried. 

I will tell you the times that I which I was brave are the times I am the most proud of. At 15 I had major back surgery. 8 hours of surgery, had to have a chest tube, and now have a titanium rod and six screws in my spine. As a scrawny, scrappy little 15 year old it was terrifying. I couldn't even talk about it leading up to the surgery because I was so terrified. There was so much unknown, something could go wrong, I could be paralyzed, never walk again. But I had no choice but to be brave. And I was. I made it through, with flying colors. I learned I was so much stronger than I thought. So much braver than I could have ever imagined. And I was proud of myself in a way that I didn't even know was possible. I had overcome a fear, and I made it out on the other side. That feeling is unbeatable. I want you to have that feeling, and often. I want you to be proud of yourself. I know I'll be proud of you, I already am.

Another example of my braveness came from you. I gave birth to you without a single drug in my body. I didn't even have an IV! I labored for hours, pushed for almost 3 (Yikes!). There were times I was so exhausted I fell asleep on my hospital bed. But I dug deep. I kept thinking of you. I wanted you to be born in the most natural, beautiful way. The way that you were intended to come into this world. I knew it would help us with recovery, with breastfeeding, with bonding. So I labored on (literally) and I spoke to you. Asked you to be strong for me. Help me to be brave--and for you to safely make your way into this world. And when your daddy helped to deliver you (because he's a paramedic, he can do that!) and I held you and stared at your perfect little pout for the first time I was beyond happy. I was elated. I was brave. Daddy brags about this all the time. He tells me all the time how strong I was. To tell you the truth I had never felt more weak and vulnerable. But I was strong and steadfast. And I had the most wonderful gift for my bravery.

There has been several times where I haven't been brave. Where I've held my tongue as someone degrades my self worth, where I have chickened out from any exciting adventure (whether it be a roller coaster, a zip line, or a trip), where I've let the fear of the unknown paralyze my sense of adventure. Don't do this. You will be scared at times. You will be uncertain. But don't walk away. Be brave. Let yourself be open to the unknown. Let it take a hold of you, change you, shape you into something strong and mighty. You may be small right now but you are certainly mighty. You are amazing, and don't you ever forget it. It will be my duty to remind you of it everyday.

After all, you're the daughter of a firefighter, one of the bravest professions out there. You have bravery in you already, you just have to unleash it. You are already feisty and determined. I hope you never lose that. Even if it makes my life more difficult. I don't want you sitting on the sidelines. I want you in the game. And I'll be there cheering you on every step of the way.

Love, 
Mom

6 months! Happy 1/2 Birthday Clara Jane :)

Clara Jane,

I can't believe this is even possible, but you are 6 months old today! Holy half a year. Time has flown by. In those first few weeks of being up all night I thought we would never get here, but alas, it's your half birthday :) I am a lover of birthdays so I think today is a reason to celebrate. Though every day of being alive and well is a reason to thank God and celebrate.

Ok, let's talk about what's new with you this month sweet thing!

Eating: You started solid foods! woo-hoo :) Mama's milk is still your fave and breastfeeding is still going great but we've introduced you to some new things here lately. Starting in your 5th month we gave you teeny little bits of avocado and sweet potato, but about two weeks ago we jumped in and started with solids. Your first puree was peaches which you seemed to dig. Next puree was sweet potato which you did ok with. So far you have had peaches, pears, sweet potatoes, bananas and avocado. You haven't disliked any of them but I would say that peaches are your favorite! I've primarily been making my own foods but you did try some of those organic pouches. 

Sleeping: Your sleep is unpredictable. I am happy that I'm not working right now because I would be a zombie. You have nights that you sleep great (like two nights ago!) and nights that it takes us hours to get you to go down (like last night when we had to take a drive around the neighborhood at 11pm!) and nights when you wake up what seems like a million times because you roll onto your tummy and then get mad when you wake up that way! But, we've made huge progress with sleep. You are now sleeping unswaddled, in your crib all night! No more swing or swaddle for our big girl. I am optimistic that your sleep is slowly getting better. You started napping a little more regularly (as I blogged about the other day!) and now that you can roll into different positions it seems that you may have started to learn to self-soothe a little. I just am trying to be patient. That can be really hard in the middle of the night when you've been up about 10 times though! Everyone says I will miss these days soon enough though.

Developments: This month has been full of developments! I am amazed by you. You can now sit up unassisted for long periods of time, you can roll from back to belly (and do so often!), you can get up on all fours (this is new and you can only hold it a few seconds but still!) and when we hold your arms or legs you can stand for long periods of time. You are making tons of new noises, you squeal, giggle, laugh and just have fun all the time now. I think that all these new developments may be part of the reason your sleep has been out of whack. But I am so, so proud of you and all your milestones. You seem to be right on target. I think you're going to be a smart, chatty, happy little girl.

All in all this has been another amazing month of being your mama. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us. I love you to the moon and back!